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NoComment48
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Name: Sean
Country: United States
State: Illinois
Birthday: 7/20/1987
Gender: Male
Interests: Skating, music, the colors pink and black together, food, videogames
Expertise: I have one?
Occupation: Student
Industry: Other
Message: message me
Website: visit my website
AIM:  NoComment48
Member Since:
10/7/2004
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| Look, I'm updating again, wont this make Denae happy  .
Anyways, just about the same as my last entry not too much has gone on
that is noteworthy. I guess that I really only fill this thing up
when I feel overwhelmed by useless shit and drama.
But, Denae and I are going really well and I hope nothing bad happens
between us again. Sometimes I wonder why I really ever broke up
with her, but oh well whats it matter now. Shes a great girl, I
just think that she needs to talk more and express her opinion. I
just think that most times she just goes with the flow and accepts what
everyone else is doing. I know she thinks for herself it's just
that she doesn't express it, and it's sad because she is a beautiful
girl underneath it all.
Really my whole group of friends is getting along with each other which
is a very rare occurance lately. I'm just sad that I don't get to
see my friend Bryan much anymore. At least I still get to see him
once and a while, he is just to cool to forget about. Another
crazy person is Johnny, he makes himself out to be soooo stupid, but if
you just sit down and talk to him one on one he is really understanding
and intelligent. Like today we just talked about what we wanna do
after high school and during college. We also talked about going
up to his dad's shop and getting my left ear and right eyebrow
pierced. I think it would look really cool. I also want to
try and dye my hair black because I think I just need a change.
I can't wait to get my car back, it has been in the shop for two
weeks! I'm going to get it and do the biggest burnout ever.
Then I am going to go for an awesome ride just chillen out with a
cigarette and some of my friends. Ah, it is going to be so
awesome!
Anyways, theres more I want to say, but some of it shouldn't be
mentioned here, some I forgot, and most I am just to lazy to type out
so I think I am just going to leave it at that. Hope you had fun
reading this...
Until Later
Sean
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| Wow, it has been quite some time since I've made an attempt to update
here, I've been reletively busy. The funny thing is that I really
can't think of all to much to write, so this entry is going to be a
short summary of all the things that have gone on since my last
entry. These may not be in exact chronological order...
Well there was Christmas break, and now before you start asking what I
got all I'm going to say is barely anything. But it's ok because
the last thing I need is more crap to try and manage lol. The
best thing to happen to me would probably have to be Denae and I
getting back together. Yea, I know, crazy right? But what
ever, she is awesome as ever and we get along really really well.
I went on vacation for a week over break though, and it kind of sucked.
It was too long, and there really isn't all that much to do in South
Carolina on Hilton Head Island during the winter. It sucked
because I mostly just sat around and played videogames, oh well.
I just wanted to go home so bad the whole time. I wanted to hold
Denae in my arms so bad that I could almost swear that she was there
with me. But now that I am back, I can see her almost anytime
that I want to :P. I got some cd's and a new pair of shoes, I
really needed new shoes cause my old ones were about dead. Denae
had to go out and get me gifts though, so now I am going to go buy her
something really nice.  Only downside is that means that
I must go shopping, oh well shes worth it.
Well, I'm tired, maybe I'll add some more in here tomorrow.
Until
Later
Sean
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| So it's over now I guess, and wow... I can't even think straight right now. I was on the phone with her for 2 hours last night and nothing but a break up came from it. I spilled my heart for 2 hours when she had already had her mind made up, she just let me keep going, not only that but she got really upset and mean with me. In the middle of me pleading for her to try and fix it with me she says to me, "You never stop, do you?" I mean come on Miranda, isn't it bad enough that you are breaking my heart, no, you have to just rip it out and stomp on it too...
I guess the worst part is that I have no clue what actually went wrong here. She told me a whole bunch of reasons that either I had already been working at to fix or that she should have been able to forgive me for. I mean if she thought that what we had was good you think that she would be able to try and work things out. Heck, I thought she would want to try really hard, but I guess I'm just not worth the effort. What happened last night has completely killed what ever was left of my self esteem. I feel so vulnerable and hurt right now that I can't do anything right. I just want her back, just to hold her in my arms and have her tell me that everything is alright, but that will never happen. This is all just devastating to me and I wish that things could have been so very different. I care so much for her so much and I don't think that she even realizes. She is just going to go on with her life as always now and act like nothing ever happened. Even when I break up with someone, which I can't stand doing, I still feel changeed by the experience and she wont. I wont have meant anything to her, just another bump on the road.
I have so many feelings going on inside of me and in the turmoil I don't want the rage to surface, but I can't help to say a few things. One, don't break up with someone over the phone, it is frowned upon and I think that it hurts worse. Second, when you do break up with someone over the phone be nice about it, not even nice just respectful. Oh and maybe have the courage to say it instead of me saying it for you...
I just feel like a piece of me is missing, I feel so alone... | | |
| OK so will someone please explain to me what is going on here. I
guess that Miranda and I are back together again, but most times it
doesn't even feel like it. She tells me that she is really unsure
about us online, and sometimes in person she will barely even make eye
contact or talk to me. But then other times in person she will
want to be close to me or have me hold her. She even kissed me
goodbye once... Wow I never thought I'd be so amazed at one
goodbye kiss, but when they are few and far between you treasure
everything that you can get.
I really hope that she decides that she wants me in her life as more
than a friend, but I have no clue what she is thinking. She feels
more and more distant with everyday and it is just tearing me
apart. I just care for her so much and I don't want such a great
thing to dissappear on me before it can even get time to mature.
Most everything else is going ok, except for the fact that I am
jobless. But I think that I may be getting a job at Taylor
Stevens Salon. It would be great to work there because it is
close to home and my bud Bryan works there. The best part is that
I would have a solid schedule which would be nice for a change.
A bunch of my friends are having drama between themselves and I wont
let myself get involved, all that I am going to do is try to lend my
opinions and views to those who need them. They can chose to
listen or forget I even said anything it is up to them, I just want to
help. I am always there for anyone to talk to so just call me or
pull me aside.
Well, I have other things to do and I can't think of what else to say so I'm gonna go now.
Until Later,
Sean
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| I knew shit would get fucked up, it always does with me. Why
can't I just act a little more normal in relationships, ugh I hate
being me. Shes gone now and I doubt that things will get back to
how they were. We're taking a "break" to see how it works out I
guess. Yea right, you might as well be saying fuck you I don't
want to see you again, I know how this shit works. I feel so bad
right now, sick even. I think I have to lie down, but all I'm
gonna do in bed is cry or feel nauseaus. I hate being dumped by
someone I really really care about, I don't even think she knew how
much I cared. I guess I never really said it, I never really got
the chance....
But now it is too fucking late. Another great thing in my life
gone, another opportunity missed by pure foolishness. I hate the
way relationships work, I'm sorry I fucked up once and I'm sorry that
I'm moody I just have a lot on my mind. But I guess we can't look
past that, I guess it's a reason for dumping me.. Ugh I'm so
sorry I'm ranting again but all of these feelings suck sooo bad
and I just want it all to come back to me. God dammit I'm
so sorry...
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